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THIS MONTH’S QUESTION:
Homesteaders are often encouraged to be as self-sufficient as possible. How can I overcome the pride of being self-sufficient so that I can reconnect with my community?
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Ivan: Our human tendency is to want to be independent. We do not want to rely on others, but the irony of it is, God created us to be dependent on each other when he created a man and woman in the Garden of Eden.
It seems like today’s driving force to become independent is part of a cycle that we as a society are part of. In the early days of the American settlers, everybody was homesteading and they needed each other and depended on each other as the need arose. As America developed and our government was established and developed into a powerful body, our society became more dependent on government to develop infrastructure and guidance; government aid became a prominent thing when misfortune struck.
Any time that we become dependent on a larger body we will also give away some of our independence to them. In more recent years we have become aware that relying on government for our everyday needs may not be the best solution and are trying to become more self-sufficient in our everyday living. Any time that a society goes too far in one direction and the pendulum swings back, we tend to over-correct ourselves. In our case we are trying to do it all ourselves versus doing it as a community.
This question reminds me of a story told to me by an older gentleman in our community. Back in the 60’s and 70’s the majority of the Amish in our community were farmers and they depended on each other to harvest their crops. It came to the point where their family and a neighboring family could afford a baler together, so they bought one as partners.
First, they would make hay for one family and then help each other make hay for the other family. They did this until they could both afford a baler and then they no longer helped each other.
This is a common theme: as our income increases, we tend to buy tools and equipment to become more self-sufficient, but in the end it does not bring our community together. Working together has a way of developing our relationships. When we sweat together, grit our teeth together, and bear pain together, we also get to enjoy the sweetness of victory together. A special moment is always more enjoyable when it is shared with somebody else.
I like the term “interdependence.” We are depending on each other as a smaller body and community. A community member may have a work day to work on a building project and a number of people get together to help. Later, another community member may have a work day for a project he has. We all get together to help out. We could possibly hire a private contractor to do the work. This may be needful at times but will also eliminate our ability to come together as a community.
Borrowing tools, equipment, or animals from each other is another way that we can become interdependent. I may have a skid loader that a neighbor can use and he may have a tractor that I can use if the need arises.
This spring, another person in our community borrowed our bull. This was helpful to me because I did not have to keep him in another pasture until I was ready for him. Our neighbor kept him and was able to use him in the duration. It was a win-win for both of us. Sharing sire animals in this way can be very helpful for homesteaders who do not have a large enough herd to keep one themselves. Borrowing comes with a give and take. We were always taught that if you borrow something, you take it back in as good as or in better shape than it came. If you break it, you fix it. This cultivates a good relationship. We also want to have a good attitude if our neighbor breaks something and does not fix it. Let’s fix it so that it is ready for him if he needs it again. This is a form of forgiveness. Our human tendency will think that if he breaks it, he cannot have it again. Do we want to sacrifice relationships over material things and money?
Sharing and laboring together as a community makes us part of something that is greater than ourselves. We as humans are searching for something that is greater than us. It is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35.
Jerry: The reality is we all deal with some degree of pride. And we all probably love our self-sufficiency. But we as human beings are wired for companionship. We need each other. And when the chips are down, we really need each other. Sooner or later most of us come to realize autonomy comes with a price; maybe more of a price than we are willing to pay.
One of my favorite passages of Scripture is the second chapter of the Gospel of Mark where we find the account of the four men bearing their friend on a cot and opening up the roof to let him down to Jesus. Now let’s imagine this scene for just a moment. The crush of people. The difficulty of getting close to Jesus. They could have easily given up, but they loved their friend on the bed, and one of them came up with the idea of opening up the roof and letting him down with ropes.
Do we not all long for friends like these? They needed people to direct traffic—to open up paths for them to carry their friend, and someone was on the roof opening it up. In other words, it took a community. Everyone could chip in and play some small part in this drama, and what about the man on the cot? One wonders what was his attitude. Did he encourage his carriers or was he too proud to think he needed help?
Sometimes I think this man was beyond making any decisions, and his neighbors simply took the proverbial "bull by the horns” and just got it done. To bring this point closer to home, I’m reminded of a story I read of a young man who slipped on a stairwell and tore his quadricep muscle—it took surgery and a long period of being bedfast to heal his injury. This man was a star ACC college basketball player and an incredibly gifted athlete who suddenly needed help. He made the comment that humility is found when you can’t dress or undress yourself. Yes, we love our autonomy, but when we pursue autonomy to the point where we simply don’t need our neighbors, we pay a high price indeed.
A powerful happening that I witnessed myself shaped my view of humility and sharing. Allow me to tell you a little story. It happened in January of 1978 when our barn collapsed due to the weight of snow and wind. During the time of clean-up and rebuilding, many people showed up to help. Thank you to all of them. But one incident stood out—even after all these years: a man from the most conservative Amish group showed up to help.
This fellow was not rich in worldly goods, nor was he a close neighbor—he was a man we barely knew. I don’t recall his name. I just know that, along about noontime, he knocked on our door, and Mom, who was a widow, answered the beckoning. This man pulled a box of mac-n-cheese out from under his overcoat and gave it to Mom. Now, I dare say that he and his family probably never sat down to eat a meal of boxed mac- n-cheese. He simply gave the best he had. This is so very humbling. When I think of this incident, I still feel a kinship, a relationship forged through a very simple act; profound, powerful, and enduring—inadequate adjectives to describe his selfless giving. As the youngest child in a family of eleven children, we learned about working together at a young age. When Mom said supper is ready at six o’clock tonight, we showed up at ten-till. To be late for supper meant you didn’t get your share. I can’t imagine the blessing that people miss out on when little Johnny dictates when supper is ready and what he eats. Growing up, we were poor, but for the most part, we didn’t know it. Our neighbors shared and shared alike. This a long answer to a short question. Always remember: humility is an elusive thing when you congratulate yourself on your humbleness, once again fostering pride. //
Ivan, Emma, and their four children live on a 12-acre homestead where they strive to raise as much of their own food as possible. Each year they have a large garden, harvest from their orchard, use raw milk from their own cow, and process chicken, turkey, beef, and pigs for their freezers. Ivan is a minister in the local Amish community. He builds tiny homes and animal shelters for a living. His models can be seen on tinyhomeliving.com or by calling 330-852-8800.
Jerry and Gloria Miller, along with their six children, operate Gloria’s home farm, a 173-acre organic dairy. They milk between 60 and 70 cows with a few small cottage industries supplementing the farm income. Jerry is a deacon in his local Amish church.
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