The Pieces of Stephanie Fast, Part Two—Finding and Sharing Hope
Words by Elaine Tomski
“The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands.”
Psalm 138:8 NIV
Stephanie Fast lives for a reason. The four-year-old girl abandoned at a train station in South Korea experienced horrors no child should ever face. A war orphan, Stephanie lived lost and broken to pieces. Still, God’s hand, His presence, stayed on her. Redeeming Stephanie from starvation, sickness, and death, God used a blue-eyed angel nurse to deliver Stephanie to the World Vision Orphanage, where her rescue continues.
As one of the oldest orphans, Stephanie had much work to do. She says, “My job was to wake at the crack of dawn, gather all the dirty diapers, walk down to the river with the load on my back, get them as clean as I could, carry the wet diapers back to the orphanage courtyard, and hang them out to dry–all before the first meal of the day.” She ate corn mush and greens three times a day. Because she knew street life, Stephanie welcomed three meals daily, clothes on her back, and a warm place to sleep. “And,” she says, “there was laughter.”
On Sunday, the orphans went to a little Presbyterian church at the crest of the hill. Stephanie was small, and the podium was large. She viewed only the top of the preacher’s head and his hands in the air as he spoke. “I was fascinated by it all,” says Stephanie. “Church was the first place people didn’t call me a tougee. I had the name Mi-Yun, which means beautiful dawn.” Stephanie began to learn that she was not a throwaway child but a beautiful child of God. At church, Stephanie heard Bible stories for the first time. She imagined herself as David and recognized abusive Korean men as her Goliath. “I wanted to take my rocks and sling and kill every one of them,” says Stephanie. “That was my hope in life, to get revenge. I didn’t know what forgiveness looked like.”
Then one day, excitement filled the orphanage. The older girls tried to make the infants look clean and handsome in anticipation of a couple expected to adopt a baby boy—ring, ring. The bell sounded, and a worker opened the gate. A man who looked like a giant walked through. “He was so tall and almost as round as he was tall!” recalls Stephanie. “I never saw such a big person in my life!” Was this a billionaire Goliath, Stephanie wondered, because only rich people could afford food. When he stepped aside, and although the Bible doesn’t say Goliath had a wife, Mrs. Goliath also appeared. “All of the children stared with gaping mouths, wondering, who are these people?” says Stephanie. Mrs. Goliath cuddled each baby and spoke in a language Stephanie didn’t understand. Like no other man she knew, “Mr. Goliath showed compassion as long as his hands. I saw him love on every one of the baby boys while tears ran down his cheeks.”
Stephanie inched closer. “By then,” she says, “I’m nine years old and weigh a little over thirty pounds. My black hair is covered with white lice. I have worms so bad in my stomach that they crawl out of my throat when they get hungry.” The couple, who dreamed of adopting a healthy baby boy whom they would name Stephen, noticed her. “I’ll never forget this for as long as I live,” says Stephanie. “This giant of a man comes down, down, down to where I am and takes his enormous hand and touches it on my face.” Because Stephanie has been abandoned since she was four years old, she doesn’t remember her mama’s touch and only knows the stroke of abuse. So, her heart beats out of her chest. She thinks, “This is good. This feels right. Don’t take the hand off of me. I like this.” And yet, not knowing how to respond to love or grace, Stephanie removes the man’s hand and spits on him. Later in her life, Stephanie’s parents tell her they both heard God’s voice saying, “That’s the one for you.”
The giant missionary couple chose to adopt and name her Stephanie. For the first time, she received a family name. Stephanie finally found a home and a love no one could take away. Her mother washed the grime from her body. Medicine killed the worms in her stomach, and Stephanie began to enjoy all the food she could eat. A pink polka dot dress made her sparkle on the outside, but many troubles remained. Stephanie held nine years of trauma and unspent tears inside her heart. She feared others might consider her unlovable if they knew of the secrets that broke her.
After Stephanie turned twelve, her parents returned to the United States, and she became a US citizen. “I did well in school,” says Stephanie. “It looked like I had friends, but at home, I was a she-devil. I kicked. I rebelled. I screamed, ‘You’re not my mom, and you’re not my dad!’ I threatened to run away. My parents kept loving me. They kept highlighting the highlights of my life and ignoring the lowlights. They kept telling me what Jesus said in his Word.” By the age of seventeen, Stephanie knew the scriptures but did not know the Savior. One night, she realized she could no longer live in anger, and Stephanie cried out, “God, if you’re like my mom and dad say you are, I want you to do something, and I want you to do it right now!” Stephanie began to plead, “Please come and help me.” And God did. “He touched my tear ducts.” All of the tears from all the years that Stephanie refused to cry began to fall. “Then that cry turned into Niagara Falls, and my parents heard my wailing.” They entered Stephanie’s room and prayed with her. “A transformation happened that night. I exchanged the old and took on the new. That was the beginning of who I am today.” No longer lost, Jesus set her feet on a new path—a path of healing and forgiveness.
In 1973, Stephanie and Darryl Fast vowed before God and many witnesses to love, honor, and cherish one another for the rest of their lives. A new family was born. Still, childhood trauma haunted Stephanie even as her behavior improved. She says, “Our marriage made me realize there were things in me that I couldn’t deal with. Up to that point, anytime there was conflict or trauma, I’d either fight back really hard, run away, or disappear. That’s how I survived.” Those skills would not serve her well in marriage. “Darryl and I prayed,” she says, “and we plowed our way through for two or three years. Then we were assigned to a church in Canada.” There, the senior pastor’s wife helped Stephanie unpack her childhood trauma. Marge courageously told Stephanie, “You are so well put together in every aspect, but I can see in your eyes that you have deep, deep pain.”
Stephanie had many secrets too horrible to reveal stuck in her heart. She feared her parents, friends, and even Darryl could not love her if they knew the truth about her childhood. In her mind, she was too damaged to be lovable. With Stephanie and Darryl’s parents serving overseas as missionaries, Marge became a much-needed spiritual mom. Gently and patiently, one layer at a time, Marge listened, allowing Stephanie to unload her trauma and heal. It took five years, but a sparkle found Stephanie’s eyes. She discovered her past did not define her. Jesus does. She was loved, not rejected in the least.
Soon God would use Stephanie’s story in ways she could never imagine. Marge invited Stephanie to lead Bible studies at a house where homeless girls came to shower and sleep. Stephanie was happy to open her Bible with these girls, but they remained fouled-mouthed and disrespectful.
“Darryl,” said Stephanie. “I don’t know why I’m doing this. I don’t really think I’m helping at all.”
“Are you sharing your story with them?” Darryl said, “They’re street kids. You were a street kid. Think about it.”
Stephanie argued with the Lord for a time—she did not want to share her story. However, one night she gathered five girls and her courage. Stephanie began to share her survival trauma and how she was abandoned at a train station. She shared how Jesus was with her in the Korean countryside, keeping a four-year-old from starvation, freezing, and death. Stephanie shared about the abuse and neglect she encountered in the city and how Jesus rescued her before she knew to ask. All five girls invited Jesus Christ to be their Lord and Savior. Stephanie learned how her testimony could change lives and bravely shared her story with more troubled girls.
Before long, Stephanie’s story of tragedy and hope reached the Canadian Director of Focus on the Family. He called to request Stephanie share her story publicly. Encouraged by her pastor, Stephanie spoke to more than twelve hundred people on Easter Sunday. “That was the first time,” says Stephanie, “I really shared my story.” The church recorded her words, and in 1986 they reached Focus on the Family’s radio audience. Stephanie’s recorded message was aired in support of World Vision Orphanages. The following week, Focus on the Family received thousands of letters in response from adoptive families and listeners who had experienced abuse. God used Stephanie’s life story to bring hope to all types of people. “My story,” says Stephanie, “has gone to the White House and Congress. I’ve spoken in front of presidents, business people, lawmakers, kings, celebrities, prisoners, and street people. There’s not an audience that God has not allowed me to go into.”
Although Stephanie’s childhood in Korea began with rejection, trauma, and abuse, God continues to heal her heart and mind each time she shares her story with others. Once Stephanie had no family, now God has given her two miracle sons (the first named Stephen) and four daughters born of other mothers. She and Darryl enjoy twenty-one grandchildren and recently celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Darryl and Stephanie Fast travel the world bringing counsel and hope to orphans, adoptive families, and foster families where woundedness and confusion exist. In addition to speaking engagements, Stephanie meets in one-on-one sessions with adoptees and their families, helping them move from trauma to trust.
Most importantly, Stephanie shares the story of her broken pieces so others can know Jesus. “My story is not about me,” says Stephanie. “It’s all about Him. It’s about what He has done for me and nothing else.” Stephanie wants others to hear and know the truth Jesus speaks to every heart. “I have called you. You are mine.”
For more information, please visit www.stephaniefast.org .