Pure Gift of God
words by Sabrina Schlabach
Adoption is just the first step in a lifetime journey. Walking through the adoption process can feel overwhelming, both financially and emotionally. That’s what prompted the beginning of Pure Gift of God. A nonprofit organization, Pure Gift of God believes that adoption is a beautiful correlation to being God’s hands and feet here on Earth as we were adopted into His family; adoption is the heart of the Father.
Over the last 10 years, Pure Gift has given over 1.5 million dollars in grants. They are able to do this through individual and business donors along with fundraising events such as a Classic Car Raffle, Annual Banquet, and some organized running events. Through those funds, Pure Gift continues to give grants and has been able to branch out into counseling, training, foster care support groups, and, most recently, therapy.
Pure Gift believes in post-adoptive care, coming alongside families for as long as needed. Once an adoption is complete, that doesn’t mean there are never any more hurdles; it's just a transition to the next phase of the journey.
In 2022, Cheryl Mullet joined the team at Pure Gift of God to begin therapy services for children affected by adoption and their families. At the time, no one really knew what it could look like, but as they created the Connection Center, things began falling into place. Isn’t that just like our God? We don’t always see the big picture, but by placing trust in Him and stepping out in faith, He brings the pieces of the puzzle together. Located in Berlin, Ohio, the Connection Center provides a friendly, comfortable space for families to meet with Cheryl.
Cheryl hasn’t always worked in therapy, but she’s always had a heart for children. While a student in China, they took a short trip to Vietnam. Standing outside of an orphanage there, she fought going inside. “I knew I would cry,” she shared, “because those poor children hadn’t had any form of touch. And that’s when God said to me, ‘Cheryl, you might cry, but they haven’t been touched.’” Cheryl went inside and, yes, cried, but that was when it became very clear to her that God was going to use her to work with—and love on—children from hard places.
After her time in China, she moved to Thailand. Cheryl began working with a woman who ran a home for children that were HIV positive. However, some of the children that came into the home didn’t have HIV. This woman asked if she could give these kids to Cheryl and her team to raise and care for until they were adopted. Of course she said yes!
Once back in the States, Cheryl got a degree in social work. She wanted to understand more about the system that many of these children were coming from. That was a good learning experience, but it wasn’t where her heart was. So, she went back to school and got her master’s in therapy. Cheryl wanted to help make a difference in the life of a child rather than just the decisions on placement. All these steps were on God’s path for her toward Pure Gift of God.
When preparing to adopt, a family is examined from every angle. There is very little privacy. “Often, once the adoption is complete, families are excited to have their lives back. However, that’s when families may face their greatest challenges and need the most support,” said Cheryl. Bringing someone into your home, no matter how much you love them or how much information you have on their background, whether the child is an infant, toddler, or teen, there are biological reactions and past trauma to consider. If you find yourself in that place, Cheryl and Pure Gift want you to know you are not alone. “It’s okay to say, ‘I need help. This is tougher than I thought it was going to be,’” she said. “We are here for you with absolutely no judgment. Don’t live in your discouragement. You have good tools, but sometimes you just need a different set of tools. And that’s okay!”
Cheryl begins meeting with children once a week. Consistency is key to build rapport and trust with a child. “We want to know what’s going on with the child’s heart. We want them to feel safe and valued and see themselves as the person God created them to be,” Cheryl shared. “We do this by play activities. There’s a lot of teaching that goes into play. The child doesn’t necessarily feel like they’re being taught, but they are practicing and learning.” Cheryl uses the TBRI (Trust Based Relational Intervention) method developed to help caregivers build connections with the children based on the principles of connecting, empowering, and correcting. “You can’t correct a behavior until you connect with that child and they feel safe with you,” she said.
Another reason for the activities is that play disarms fear and puts Cheryl and the child on the same level. They will play games that don’t have a winner and a loser. “We don’t want it to be about competing, it’s more about connecting,” said Cheryl. “I want the child to feel safe. The room is a safe place where the child can be themselves.” It takes a long time to build trust—sometimes a very long time for a child to feel safe and begin to really open up and share.
At the beginning of each appointment, the child is allowed to pick a snack and perhaps some hot chocolate or tea. After that, they join Cheryl in her activity room. Here is where they play games, read books, perform puppet shows, play with a dollhouse or Legos, and do some activities that get their heart rate up. “Children don’t always understand what they are feeling as their heart rate rises or know how to bring it back down in a healthy way,” shared Cheryl. There’s also painting, coloring, drawing, and playdoh. “I’m not an artist and I’m not an art therapist, but I love what art does in helping bring out some of the troubles that are standing in the way. And another good tool is our sensory swing,” she said. “It envelops the child, and they feel very safe inside. They can peek out and see me, knowing that I can’t really see them.” All these things are designed to help children feel comfortable speaking. And if the brain gets stuck, Cheryl keeps bubblegum on hand to help get things moving again.
The parents are involved as much as possible, and communication is always completely open. The parents can be in the room, but Cheryl also wants children to feel comfortable without them. She shared that, especially in kids over age 7, they have things to say and are more comfortable telling her than their parents. “It’s amazing the shame and fear of rejection that make them afraid to tell their parents. I am their advocate. My goal is to help the child tell their parents. That can happen a few different ways. I try to get the child to use their voice, sometimes I tell the parents with the child there (with child’s permission), or I can help the child say it. I want to empower each child to use their words.” Cheryl also added that she doesn’t have one relationship with a kid and the mother/father has a different one. Her goal is for the parent and child to have a closer relationship. That’s where the healing happens.
Feedback from the community and numerous therapy and support groups have helped Cheryl and the team of Pure Gift of God realize the great need for parents, too, not just the children. Another therapist was hired to help Cheryl meet these needs. “We are implementing a program that will provide parents with therapy and trainings. The program is called HALO (Healing Attachment Loving Outreach),” said Cheryl. Research is showing that this program is extremely effective at building more connection between the parents and child. “The parents are more confident in their ability and understand more of what is going on.” As the Pure Gift team rolls out this program, they want to involve the parents and child together in therapy, especially for children under age seven.
Everyone at Pure Gift of God understands that every family, every child, and every situation is different. But they all want to help families heal in the way that they were created to exist. “We know that every child coming to a family through adoption is coming from a broken relationship—a loss. The only way that can be completely healed is through Jesus,” Cheryl said. “For me, as His servant, I get to be someone speaking those words of life into that brokenness and loss so that we see a healed, whole person be even stronger because they’ve not let that brokenness break them. They’ve allowed it to make them into the person God created them to be.” That includes both the parents and the child. Often, we only look at the child’s brokenness to be helped, but what about the parents who have adopted because of infertility or other loss? Those parents are also coming from a broken spot that needs recognition.
“Sometimes I feel like a farmer,” said Cheryl, smiling. “We’re out here creating a field. Do you know how hard it is to plow that ground for the first time? That ground is tough, and you lose a lot of energy in a short amount of time because it’s such hard work and you don’t know which direction to go.” She went on to say, “The truth of the matter is, those of us that are in the helping profession, we do that because there’s something in us that feels good when we do what we’re called to do. It’s only hard work if we don’t see our value as God sees us. It’s not about what we do and how we do it; it’s not performance driven. It’s recognizing that my value comes from who God says I am and not what I believe about myself, or the messages we picked up as kids—and still carry with us.”
The Pure Gift of God team feels very blessed to be working together. They are united, really relying on each other for everything. They’ve also been blown away by the community support, whether that’s materials, time, money, or volunteering. And prayer. Praying is a huge part of everything they do, as well as the community praying for the team and the families that seek out Pure Gift of God. Cheryl shared, “I pray that we always recognize the responsibility to steward the resources that God’s given us for the Kingdom to be built and for healing to come to these families. It’s not to make a name for ourselves. It’s not about an organization. It’s about what God is doing in the hearts of these kids and families.”
For the families that are choosing to adopt, we want to pray. For those who are struggling with brokenness, we want to pray—not just to “fix” the broken part, but for healing. This kind of prayer takes an entire community. One that’s praying for wisdom, patience, understanding, and all those things that come with helping people heal.
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If you have a heart to adopt, learn about it. Don’t be scared off by questions or financial costs. If you are fostering or have already adopted and are struggling, don’t be ashamed. Help is out there, and Pure Gift of God would love to walk alongside you.
Pure Gift of God
P.O. Box 292, Berlin, Ohio 44610
330-795-4948 • www.puregiftofgod.com
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Sabrina and her husband live near Ragersville, Ohio, and have been blessed with four spunky children. She values time with her family, loves to bake, and is an avid reader.